Perseverance
The idea of writing on perseverance has been floating around in my head for a little while now. Recently I have found that my perspective of perseverance has totally changed and gained new meaning.
I used to view perseverance as kind of a scary word that represented a huge challenge. Which, in many ways, it does. Yet it is a different challenge to me now than it was before. I might be alone in thinking this way, but to me, hearing someone tell me to just persevere through something or to “get over it” is often the furthest thing from helpful. When I thought of forcing myself to push through in a time when I felt exceedingly weary, perseverance seemed like an impossible goal that screamed, “Tough it out!” to a soul that was already sore from fighting.
How do you keep picking yourself up over and over again if you’re losing all your emotional energy under the weight of a difficult or painful situation? Why does the concept of perseverance sometimes seem like a slap in the face to compassion? Through my story, I have found a new perspective on what it looks like to persevere.
So what is that perspective? How do I truly persevere?
I give up. Yep.
I give up trying to fight all of my battles alone.
This kind of giving up isn’t hopeless. It is realizing that hope really doesn’t come from desperately trying to fix ourselves or our situation in our own strength. Sadly, that just doesn’t work, and it just makes us even more frustrated and weary.
Perseverance is trust. When the world has shown you that trust is dangerous and harmful, perseverance is choosing to hope for something different. Perseverance sometimes looks like long hours of crying before the Lord, choosing to be honest with Him even when it hurts. Perseverance isn’t some tough-it-out, pretend-everything-is-fine kind of strategy...it is coming to the very end of ourselves and then realizing that there is Someone there at the end. Someone who is able to sustain us when we can no longer sustain ourselves.
But why do I believe this?
I remember a couple years ago having conversations with the people closest to me in which all I could say was that it seemed like (blank) was never going to end. I felt like my anxiety would never get better...I wondered if I would ever not be afraid...I didn’t know how to believe that depression and insecurity and pride and shame and comparison and doubt to the extent that I was trapped in those things would ever go away.
But to make a long story really short, (reach out to me if you want to ask me more:) it did get better! Those things did go away. I’m not afraid anymore. I have been living in a joy that I literally never thought was possible or real.
And the best part of it all is that Jesus is my “how.” He is the reason why I no longer live in the darkness! Perseverance, how I understood it, was impossible. But perseverance by giving in to a total reliance on my Father was everything. I was at the end of myself. But He was just starting. Starting my restoration story.
Perseverance does take courage. It takes so much courage to believe that what feels like death could actually be turned into life…that what feels like the end could actually become the beginning. But the point is, courage is not something any of us can muster up on our own.
I tried the kind of religion that was all about me and what I could do...and it didn’t work. I lived trying to be good enough for God, and that still didn’t save me from the pain of this world. But what did save me? A love that is so radical that it chose me before I could choose it. A love that listened while I was angry. A love that is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.(Psalm 34:18) A love that was still there when I came entirely to my end.
So perseverance doesn’t have to mean forcing yourself to get over something that is still so raw in your heart. Perseverance doesn’t have to look like fighting...it is falling back into the arms of a Father who loves you enough to fight FOR you. Don’t get me wrong, that takes a lot of intentionality and vulnerability. But I will forever be thankful that my God has shown me that He is safe with everything I’d rather hide. Perseverance is believing that He can be there for you in that intimate way even when you question if that could be true.
In conclusion - let me encourage you to give up the perseverance that says you gotta just get yourself together. He has you in the palm of His hand. Sometimes He doesn’t do things the way we would do them, but He is trustworthy with our surrender. Partnering with Him will always be better than running alone, because when we fall He is still faithful.
“And now we are brothers and sisters in God’s family because of the blood of Jesus, and he welcomes us to come into the most holy sanctuary in the heavenly realm—boldly and without hesitation. For he has dedicated a new, life-giving way for us to approach God. For just as the veil was torn in two, Jesus’ body was torn open to give us free and fresh access to him! And since we now have a magnificent High Priest to welcome us into God’s house, we come closer to God and approach him with an open heart, fully convinced that nothing will keep us at a distance from him. For our hearts have been sprinkled with blood to remove impurity, and we have been freed from an accusing conscience. Now we are clean, unstained, and presentable to God inside and out! So now wrap your heart tightly around the hope that lives within us, knowing that God always keeps his promises!”
Hebrews 10:19-23 TPT
“if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”
2 Timothy 2:13 NIV
“He’s the hope that holds me and the Stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, and my great confidence. He will rescue you from every hidden trap of the enemy, and he will protect you from false accusation and any deadly curse. His massive arms are wrapped around you, protecting you. You can run under his covering of majesty and hide. His arms of faithfulness are a shield keeping you from harm. You will never worry about an attack of demonic forces at night nor have to fear a spirit of darkness coming against you. Don’t fear a thing! Whether by night or by day, demonic danger will not trouble you, nor will the powers of evil launched against you.”
Psalms 91:2-6 TPT
“Your new life in the Anointed One began with the Holy Spirit giving you a new birth. Why then would you so foolishly turn from living in the Spirit by trying to finish by your own works? Have you endured all these trials and persecutions for nothing? Let me ask you again: What does the lavish supply of the Holy Spirit in your life, and the miracles of God’s tremendous power, have to do with you keeping religious laws? The Holy Spirit is poured out upon us through the revelation and power of faith, not by keeping the law!”
Galatians 3:3-5 TPT